Exodus: Why I'm leaving Facebook (short answer - it's the smell)
Sometime back around 2011, my wife joined Facebook. She enjoyed the social aspect of it so I decided to give it a try. It was great at first getting back in touch with so many old friends and former colleagues. It seemed like a very efficient way to keep in touch. Friends would post pictures of their kids, talk about a new job or share an article they found interesting. Occasionally stimulating conversations would arise which only brought me back to Facebook with increasing frequency.
Then like the proverbial frog in a pot of water the temperature of which is very slowly increasing, I just didn't notice that Facebook was getting warmer. More and more the conversations turned to polarizing topics, mostly around politics but occasionally around spiritual matters as well. Over time it seemed that more people were moving to extreme positions on whatever they choose to talk about. When I offered a counter-argument, pointed out something irrational or provided the evidence that their assertion was false, rather than constructive debate, it was met with disdain. Frequently friends would say things in text they would never say to me even over the phone let alone in person. It seems that for many, Facebook has become a place to indirectly ask for a show of support from their echo chamber and flagellate anyone who disagrees. I posted my share of opinion pieces as well of course. I'm just as guilty of subjecting my friends to the same thing to which they have subjected me. It's the toxic nature of the environment. It just seeps into the pours.
In short, Facebook simply isn't fun anymore. It just has a stink on it that won't wash out.
For the past few months, I have found myself wanting to use Facebook less. It is truly pointless to argue with people whose viewpoint is radically different than one's one because studies have shown time and time again that that's not how people change their minds if they ever do. The fact is, my relationships with my friends on Facebook are not based in any way on our being in the same orbit politically, spiritually or on most other topics. Despite that, all too often most posts are polarizing. If there still are pictures of kids or some uplifting article about a person that was found alive after having gone missing in a forest for several weeks, they are plastered over by the latest political drama with opinions already cemented and being spouted, mouth-frothing from the pulpit.
The problem is, I can't simply ignore the stink. It's just too strong. I can't scroll past. Even if I can resist the urge to comment, I'm left feeling bad anyway and who needs that? What has kept me from leaving is having no place to go. Then recently I realized that there was a place I could go where I could once again see what's going on in my friends lives without being subjected to the stupefying, fact-free, opinion pieces that only result in sudden appearance of cheerleaders or hand-to-hand combat. I've also come to recognize that at my age, while I am quite healthy in every measurable way, time is nevertheless a commodity that increasingly seems in shorter and shorter supply. I therefore am being more choosy about how I spend (or waste) my time.
So I'm going to Instagram. There people's posts are photo-based. You can add a comment, people can reply, they can like your photos, but there's no sharing, no links, none of the gasoline that gets poured onto the hot coals of a person's strongly-held beliefs. Now I know what you are thinking. Most of you are my age and are starting to get into that groove that is already looking like a rut. Instagram is more the app your kids use, right?. Well, all I can say is that change is often good as is learning something new. And anyway, you're starting to sound like your parents.
I reached out in advance to a few of you and was unsurprised you didn't have an Instagram account but was so pleasantly surprised and grateful that you were willing to create one to stay in touch. I hope the rest of you will as well. Perhaps we will truly start an exodus together. Facebook certainly needs a wakeup call.
So if you are inclined to stay in touch, here's how to do it:
If we went to school together, worked together, played in a band together, lived in the same neighborhood, have kids that went to the same schools or things like this, you know me personally so please send me a request to follow me on Instagram at geoffperlman.
If you know me professionally in any capacity and would like to stay in touch, please send me a follow request at XojoCEO.
I've also set up accounts for both the bands in which I play. Those accounts are VinylFlashback and Works.band.
If you're already addicted to Instagram, I'm happy to feed that addiction so feel free to send requests to any and all of the above that you feel are appropriate. Just please do not take offense if I don't grant requests to follow me on my personal account as I'm reserving that for people who truly do know me on a personal level.
And if you have in the past found my musings on Facebook to be worth your time, you can subscribe to my blog (Mind-Meld - which will be getting far more attention now than it has in the past). If you're reading this, you're here so subscribe if you'd like to get an email when I have thoughts to share. To subscribe, go to the home page of this blog, scroll to the top and in the lower-right corner you should see a Follow button.
I hope we will stay in touch. I'm not deleting my Facebook account just yet but my presence there will be that a ghost: rarely if ever seen.
I have to say that just writing this post already makes me feel so much better. Should you choose not to stay in touch, I will understand and will miss you. Having said that, the one thing I'm certain I will not miss is Facebook itself.
ⓒ Geoff Perlman • All Rights Reserved • Content cannot be reproduced without prior consent.